It's so hard to believe it's been a year since we gave Tyler back to the Lord. Where has the time gone? I feel like it was just yesterday that I held him and kissed his sweet little cheeks. I think back to a year ago and finding my precious little boy lifeless in his crib, and it feels so vivid even still. As I write this, new life moves within me and reminds me that the Lord truly does give and take away. While I do not understand the why, I still choose to trust that HE knows and has great purpose for every single thing that has happened.
Jerrod and I had a sweet moment with Cooper last night. I went it to tell him goodnight and give hugs and kisses and he asked to get his little blue Bible. He calls it his "sleep Bible" because it's just a little New Testament Bible that he likes to sleep with it :) Too cute! Anyways, he talked about wanting to read it and have Jesus in his heart. I talked with him a little while about how when we pray and ask God to come into our hearts that He will and we can live with Him forever. He said he wanted to pray. So I went in to get Jerrod and we kneeled beside Coop's bed and just talked for a while. For a four year old, he really does have a pretty good understanding of God's love for us, His death on the cross and how He rose again. While I know that it's a simple faith, and the understanding of sin is still complex, he prayed for Jesus to come into his heart last night. I feel like it was just a sweet gift for me on the eve of Tyler's death.
Last night I went in to check on Cooper, as I do many times each evening and throughout the night. I sat and just watched him sleep, something that has become hard for me unfortunately. It's so hard to see a baby or child sleeping for me, but in any case, I just watched him sleep there peacefully, watching each breath. I just couldn't help but just say out loud, "Thank you God for this gift. Thank you for every breath that he takes and thank you for this life." It's so easy to take little things for granted when you have not lost. But when you have, it changes you.
Today we will be together with lots of friends stopping by and just taking the time to remember our precious Tyler. We miss you sweet boy and so wish we could have you here with us. We praise God for your life and know that you are resting in the arms of our loving Father. We love you so much and can't wait for the day when we are reunited with you in Glory.