Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Year


It's so hard to believe it's been a year since we gave Tyler back to the Lord. Where has the time gone? I feel like it was just yesterday that I held him and kissed his sweet little cheeks. I think back to a year ago and finding my precious little boy lifeless in his crib, and it feels so vivid even still. As I write this, new life moves within me and reminds me that the Lord truly does give and take away. While I do not understand the why, I still choose to trust that HE knows and has great purpose for every single thing that has happened.

Jerrod and I had a sweet moment with Cooper last night. I went it to tell him goodnight and give hugs and kisses and he asked to get his little blue Bible. He calls it his "sleep Bible" because it's just a little New Testament Bible that he likes to sleep with it :) Too cute! Anyways, he talked about wanting to read it and have Jesus in his heart. I talked with him a little while about how when we pray and ask God to come into our hearts that He will and we can live with Him forever. He said he wanted to pray. So I went in to get Jerrod and we kneeled beside Coop's bed and just talked for a while. For a four year old, he really does have a pretty good understanding of God's love for us, His death on the cross and how He rose again. While I know that it's a simple faith, and the understanding of sin is still complex, he prayed for Jesus to come into his heart last night. I feel like it was just a sweet gift for me on the eve of Tyler's death.

Last night I went in to check on Cooper, as I do many times each evening and throughout the night. I sat and just watched him sleep, something that has become hard for me unfortunately. It's so hard to see a baby or child sleeping for me, but in any case, I just watched him sleep there peacefully, watching each breath. I just couldn't help but just say out loud, "Thank you God for this gift. Thank you for every breath that he takes and thank you for this life." It's so easy to take little things for granted when you have not lost. But when you have, it changes you.

Today we will be together with lots of friends stopping by and just taking the time to remember our precious Tyler. We miss you sweet boy and so wish we could have you here with us. We praise God for your life and know that you are resting in the arms of our loving Father. We love you so much and can't wait for the day when we are reunited with you in Glory.
video

14 comments:

  1. What a sweet post and video. I just sat and watched with tears as I felt my new baby boy moving in me! I have been through tough losses but cannot imagine the loss that you all have experienced and continue to pray for you often as I'm sure so many do! I pray that today is one with sweet memories and not overwhelming pain for you all. You are covered in prayer. Elizabeth

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  2. My heart still aches for you, but I'm so thankful for the testimony that your family has been able to share with the world. You have touched so many lives. I cried when I read that Cooper had asked Jesus into his heart last night. God is so good!!!!! He gave you a gift as you remembered when one had been taken away. I'm praying for you today! I love you all, Belinda Shelton

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  3. Your post was beautiful today. I slowly cried my way through it. You have been in my prayers often. My little boy turns one next week and I know that I will always remember you and Tyler. I am thankful to have a place to come to were I can read a womans words of such strong faith and love. Rejoice in great memories today.

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  4. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I do pray for you often. What a wonderful boys! I am so overjoyed for the sweet moment you had with Cooper. god is gracious in His timing. It is hard to believe that it was four years ago that we were in Moms and More together and you were pregnant with him and now he is praying for Jesus to live in his heart! My heart is with you today. Thank you for your faith.

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  5. Even in laughter the heart aches, the Bible says....

    And now we both understand that verse.

    Memories are precious....and by moving forward, it doesn't mean you're leaving your precious Tyler behind. He'll always be a very deep and important part of you. You can never lose that.

    May God give you peace and be as close as your very breath as you remember your son.

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  6. Darling video...precious laughter which you will soon enjoy in your home again with BOTH of these boys!!

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  7. Your life makes me worship God. I cry, rejoice, pray, and praise, as I see Him through it!

    May your home be filled with laughter and joy and Jesus to the glory and praise of God

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  8. I love that video. His sweet eyes, his mama's eyes. I love you friend and I'm so proud of you!

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  9. Oh Jen, I have been thinking about you so much. I can't believe it's been a year. It really doesn't seem possible. I am praying that the Lord continues to heal your hurt and your fears.

    -I love that sweet little picture of Tyler. He has such a precious smile (and laugh).

    I love you so much Jen. : )

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  10. thinking of you as you remember your precious Tyler.

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  11. Whew...tears rolling down my face as I read this! Love you!

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  12. Precious video, Jen.

    What a gift from the Lord that Cooper asked Jesus into His heart. The timing...wow. I know it was a great comfort to your heart. Oh, what a day when you are all reunited!

    I pray you had a peaceful day. Love you!

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  13. Not sure if I have posted before...

    Oh that video - what a sweet memory to have. My prayers are with you guys.

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  14. I came to your blog via Katie's Keepers. I am so very sorry for your loss. It's hard to even imagine...May Jesus continue to bring you His comfort & peace.

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