Saturday, September 5, 2009

Finally back.....

Well, after weeks of not posting, I have officially decided to start my own blog. We have our own website at, but it's so hard for me to post on there since it is all on Jerrod's computer. I have so many thoughts throughout the day that I would love to share (mostly for my own healing), and I know people often wonder what's going on with us 3 months after losing Tyler. My hope is that I will be able to share more of my heart, more of how we are doing and most importantly, what God is showing us through this process. We are knee-deep in the grieving process and missing our Tyler James daily.

As I spoke to a sweet friend via email who lost her little girl - we just want them back. We know many of God's truths and desire to rest and abide in them, but the truth remains that we just really don't like how things are right now. Life was not supposed to look like this, at least in our minds. Please feel free to keep emailing or commenting. I love to get verses that the Lord has put on your heart and am really trying to draw on His word.

One thing we are dealing with right now is trying to have another baby. This is such a hard process, because the truth is, we just want Tyler back. Please pray. Pray for our hearts, pray for the Lord to be at the forefront, pray that He would bless us abundantly. For those of you who know us well, we have always struggled to get pregnant. We have struggled with infertility for the last 6 1/2 years, had two miscarriages and now lost our little Tyler at 4 1/2 months. We are currently on medication, so we go in for an ultrasound on Tuesday to see how many follicles we have. Our hope is ALOT, so please join us in praying that this month would work. We hope and pray that the Lord would give and bless us abundantly with more children. In the end, as my sweet friend Jess always says, "If we have to trust the Lord in taking our children away, then surely trusting Him to give us more shouldn't be as hard." Just trying to keep this perspective and know ultimately that HE is good and that He has our best interest in mind at all times.

Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for your selflessness. God has been so evident through His body. In many ways, each of you is holding us up and proving to be the body of Christ in action. We are so grateful.

Thank you......


  1. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us. You and your family are always in our prayers.

  2. We look forward to reading your blog. Your sincere and honest heart is a blessing to us.

  3. I am glad you are blogging. I have checked the other one daily. I have missed knowing how you are doing. Even though I know how you are doing, but still, it is good to hear from you. Of course you want your sweet baby boy back- and God knows that. It is amazing what you are doing while having that great, overwhelming desire- that is also what he wants. Praying that you will quickly get pregnant. It is hard enough just waiting to get pregnant without the added weight of what you are daily facing. Please know Tyler challenges us everyday to love our kids a little bit more and hug them tighter every night. And to sneak back in for one more hug. It is such a reminder that God has our days numbered and we need to treasure each one we get here. Praying for you.

  4. I have no words. You and your family are in my prayers--DAILY.

    Rebecca Freshwater

  5. Still praying and remembering your sweet Tyler daily. So good to hear your heart and we will continue to pray for God to bless your family abundantly. You are an encouragement and an amazing woman of God!
    - Stacy S.

  6. Thank-you for being so open about what is on your heart..... what an amazing woman of God :). We are still praying for you and love your family very much!
    - Kristin Combs

  7. Jen,

    Thank you for your openess and honesty with your infertility struggles. We lost our 2nd child to miscarriage at 12 weeks back in March. The pain is still there. My heart aches for another child, yet I find myself thinking about how our little one would be born any day now and how life would have....should have been. It's hard for me to trust that the Lord has the best plan for my life and that it is a beautiful plan. I am so encouraged by the verses and psalms you have posted on your blog. Thank you for your openess and bringing us into your life. Nick and I continue to pray for you and your boys.