Our Story's not Wasted

Our whole family went up to Hume Lake to speak at a High School Winter retreat this past weekend. Jerrod actually got a call at noon on Friday that the speaker for the weekend had been snowed in in Washington, DC, and they needed a speaker pronto. So, needless to say, we headed up around 4:00 and Jerrod was speaking at the first chapel at 7:00ish.

Hume Lake Christian Camp is an amazing place. It is absolutely beautiful and nestled in the gorgeous mountains of the Giant Sequoia National park and sits right on a lake. The snow dumped out several feet over the last few weeks, so we were a little prepared for some cold weather and some fun sledding (pictures to post later).

Jerrod did an amazing job of communicating to over 1,000 high school students and we were thankful for the opportunity to be there this past weekend. God used it in so many ways, but little did we know how the Lord would orchestrate yesterday morning's events.

Yesterday (Monday) was the last time Jerrod was supposed to teach. We were packing up in our room so we could leave right after chapel to beat the buses down the mountain when we got a knock on our door. Our sweet friend, Lenny, who is one of the directors, came to our room and called Jerrod outside. I knew something was going on and seemed kind of serious, but I just kept packing up and thinking that maybe something had happened with one of the students.

Jerrod came back in the room and told me something I will never forget. A sweet family that is on staff at Hume had put their sweet little girl down the night before who was sick and went in to check on her Monday morning and she was gone. She had gone to be with the Lord sometime in the middle of night.

While I didn't know much more detail than that, all I could do was just sob and cry out to the Lord for this precious family. The nightmare that we endured in losing Tyler was happening to another family. I knew there would come a day, not knowing when or how or who, that we would get a phone call (or a knock on the door) letting us know that we were needed.

So many emotions welled up inside of me. I hated so much that another family was having to grieve the loss of a child, especially so unexpectedly as we did. Nothing can describe the ache and the pressing of your entire spirit that will never let up. It is relentless. You feel as if you are suffocating and you feel like you are in a dream all at the same time.

We had the amazing privilege to sit with this family yesterday. They are so surrounded by people that love them, yet I'm sure they are feeling so alone all at the same time. I found myself not having any words to say. Most of all I could muster out was just, "I'm so sorry...." I sobbed and cried with this Mommy, fully understanding the deep longing in her heart.

I felt so unworthy to even be in their home. I felt like my words hardly offered any sort of advice or hope or help. It's weird having been though losing a child, it seems like I should have some glorious thing to say or some wonderful encouragement to make it all better. But the truth is, grieving the loss of the child is the most horrific thing you could imagine. Nothing can make it go away and the loss is forever.

As much as I loathed the fact that that precious baby girl was taken from her mommy, daddy, brother and extended family and friends, there was a piece of me that felt so honored to be with them yesterday. Somehow in the midst of it, as much as I wished it would all go away, it gave worth and value to Tyler's life and death. God was using our story to somehow encourage and bring comfort to another family that is hurting.

I know that the Lord does not waste our pain and He does not allow circumstances to happen for no good reason I got to be a witness to His sovereignty yesterday. We were not "supposed to be there" this weekend, but God had other plans. He uses ALL things for good and for HIS glory. As much as I knew this about the Lord, I got to actually be a part of it and it felt good.

I'm so grateful that Tyler's story, our story, is being redeemed. Please pray for this family as they have a very difficult road ahead in the days and weeks to come.

Loving God more today because of WHO He is.....