Sawyer's Nursery (well...almost:)

It's so exciting! Sawyer's nursery is almost complete! Now we just need a baby to bring home;)

This is the changing table/dresser. The green basket has wipes and diapers in it:)

This is an up-close of the picture board. It's a bulletin board that my sweet friend Shara helped me to cover using some extra fabric, ribbon and a staple gun. We can put pictures of all of Sawyer's friends and family up for him to look at while he gets his diaper changed.

Total cost: $10

We decided to go with the round turquoise knobs for Sawyer's dresser. I think it turned out pretty cute and hopefully is something he can use for a long time to come.

We finally got the missing piece to the crib front, so we are ready for business!

This was one of my favorite things! Remember how I had several vinyl choices? Well, I emailed the girl on Etsy and she mentioned that the vinyl didn't work very well on canvas. I really wanted something that stuck off the wall for over the crib and I loved the idea of his name with the I Samuel verse.

Okay, so are you ready for this?? My awesome friend Cori looked at a picture of the vinyl lettering and made this on her computer. She made the background a textured orange color that I think really pops off the blue walls. Even better...we printed it at COSTCO on a canvas! YES, Costco does canvas prints! How great!!! I think it turned out so cute!

Up close of the bedding:)

We did lanterns in the corner with different colors and heights. It fills the space nicely and is almost like a mobile for Sawyer to look at.

This is sort of a picture wall. We bought some rope at the hardware store, tied a knot on both ends, and put clothespins on it. Once we get pictures of Sawyer (and other ones too, like Tyler and the rest of us), we will print them on Matte board and hang them with the clothespins.

Total Cost: $4

Fun pic of the side table. The lamp is one we had from Coop's room, the nametag is from a gift from Sawyer's shower, and the vase and manzanita are from the shower and a flower arrangement that was sent.

Total Cost: $0

These ecru frames will most likely go on either side of the curtains on the wall when you walk in Sawyer's room. We'll put his fun newborn pics in them and update them as he grows.

I think the curtains turned out so cute. We bought the black-out panels at Target and then used extra fabric and trim to add a little bit to the top. Laurie helped me with this project and got them all ready for the nursery:)

Here's a big shot of when you walk in the room...I think the Ecru frames will look cute on either side of the window:)

Ready, Set....BABY!

I went back into the doctor today for my 38 week check-up. Not much more to report, but I did ask him what the possibility would be to having Sawyer any earlier than next Monday.

He said he would check and see what he could do, exited the room for a couple of minutes, and came back in to say, "What about Saturday morning?"

Umm....YES, please!!! So, it's all set....Saturday morning at 8:00 a.m.

July 31, 2010 will be Sawyer's birthday unless something crazy happens between now and then. We are so excited to meet him, hold him, cuddle him, smell him, and kiss those sweet little cheeks!

So...here is my challenge to you all. I would love for you all to guess his weight and length. Obviously his time of birth will not be too much of a surprise, but I've been trying to guess myself as to how much he will weigh:) After he's born, we'll see who gets it right (or closest to right:)....

Jen's guess: 6 pds., 15 oz. -- 19 inches long

Jerrod's guess: 7 pds., 3 oz. -- 20.5 inches long

We covet your prayers as anxiety is running high these days. We are trusting the Lord that He has Sawyer in the palm of His hand, just as He does us. Many more pics to follow as we travel to the hospital, get ready for surgery, and of course see Sawyer's sweet face:)

Stay Tuned.....

For those of you who requested it, Cooper weighed 7 pds., 2 oz. at almost 40 weeks, and Tyler weighed 5 pds., 11 oz. at 36 weeks:)

Sawyer's Shower

My precious Life Group Girls: Cherie, Jessica, Katie and Brittany

The tables all set up with the wonderful decor. I loved the colors, the lanterns and the manzanita on the tables. It was perfect!

My friend, Amy Chambers, makes these wonderfully personalized sugar cookies:) They were really yummy!

This is one of my mentors Laurie Lamb. She's married to Brent, our Worship Director, and they're moving to Dallas so Brent can start managing Kari Jobe! How cool is that? Very excited for them:)

Sweet Girls:)

The entry table with Thank You cards for people to write their address on...so helpful!

Warning to prego ladies taking pictures: DON'T put one hand under your belly! It looks a little bad! :) My friend Katie finally told me when she noticed me doing it! Ha!

Me and my Mom....So glad she could be here for the shower!

All the hostesses:) Precious life-long friends!

Most importantly, if you know me, you know I LOVE food! And it was yummmmmy!

And finally dessert! "Death by Chocolate" trifle, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and Fruit Tarts!

This was the most special, perfect day! I felt so honored that all these ladies would come and celebrate our 3rd baby boy. It was such a rich time of encouraging my heart with God's Word and the Truth that is found there. I love that we can rely on Him and cast our anxieties on Him. Thank you everyone who is praying for us and this little guy in my tummy. We can't wait to meet him...no more than 12 days! So hard to believe:)

37 Weeks

Large and "in charge" as I like to say it ;) My belly is getting big and it's very apparent that there is a growing baby in there! I've gained around 19 or 20 pounds, but many days it feels like 60 or 70:)

I'm 37 weeks and 1 day, lots of strong contractions, and hanging in there! I go back to the doctor next Monday, when I will be 38 weeks. What a milestone! We feel so blessed and grateful to be carrying a term baby.

As far as the name crisis, Jerrod had a moment last week when he wasn't quite sure about the name Sawyer. I think when you've lost a child the way we have, it's hard to discern whether or not you're not attaching to the name or not attaching all together. Needless to say, we're still settled on Sawyer Jace. As soon as the finishing touches come in this week for the nursery, I will post some pictures:)

Breathe...

Time seems as if it's standing still these days. So many mixed emotions, many of which I am confident are yet to be discovered. We anxiously await holding Sawyer in our arms, which by the way, we had a "name crisis" this week, but that's a story for another time;)

It seems very difficult for me to wrap my arms around the idea of another baby in our home. Our baby.

It seems surreal to think of seeing, holding, smelling, kissing, rocking, nursing, and caring for another little life. A life that is just that, alive. I would be a fool to say that I am not scared out of my mind. Many times I feel as though I have to remind myself to breathe. It seems obvious to say, but truly, I find myself saying out loud, "BREATHE."

Confirmation came this last week in our counseling appointment (J and I have been going to counseling together for the last few weeks). Our precious counselor, Christine, was talking to me about how when the body is feeling anxiety and worry, we naturally hold our breath. I looked at her with amazement and said, "That's exactly what I've been doing!"

How can one prepare him or herself for complete life change? I often hear the question, "Are you so ready??" So much goes into clarifying that statement.

Am I ready to see Sawyer and hold him? Of course!

Am I ready to see his sweet little face, count his fingers and toes, and draw him near to me? Absolutely!

Am I ready to walk by faith that the Lord has complete control and sovereignty over his little life?? I want to be!

How can I ever be truly ready for what's ahead?? I think the advice of taking things a "day at a time" is very scripture based.

Matthew talks about not being anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Previous to those verses found in Chapter 6, the Word talks about the birds of the air and the lilies of the field and how the Lord takes care of them. How much more is He concerned with me, His child?

The truth is, our lives are about to change forever. Again. If we could have seen into the future and seen Tyler's death before it happened, I feel confident that we would have never thought we would be able to get to the other side. Here we are, still here, still living, missing him desperately, but still able to see God in the midst of our circumstances. Just as He has proven faithful to see us through the loss of one of our children, I have to remain confident that He will be faithful to see us through the birth and life of another. He's God. He does not change like the shifting shadows. His love and faithfulness and sovereignty and power are not dependent upon our circumstances. They are always present. They are constants.

We are praying for a peace that transcends all understanding. Anxiety is an ever present element in our lives that we constantly take to the feet of Jesus, but never the less, it perks it's ugly head often.

Lord, give us faith and grant us joy, so that we may soak in every moment these last two weeks. We desire to walk this road with grace, and it is only by your strength that it could ever be done.

Please pray for a safe and healthy delivery. The Lord knows just the right time, so we are trusting when that is. My next appointment is on Tuesday, so each appointment is a possible delivery day:) We do know that Sawyer will be here by August 2nd at the latest. Thank you for continuing on our little journey with us and we can't wait to introduce you to our precious 3rd SON!

Jen

Sawyer Jace, you are already a miracle, created and fashioned together by our Creator. We can't wait to bring you home and love you all the days of your life. You are precious and have already begun healing our hearts in a very real way. We are so ready to meet you!

Mommy

A Few Prego Pics

My sweet, amazingly talented friend, Cori, took some maternity pictures of our pregnancy with Sawyer. She is THE best as far as I'm concerned! She has taken our family's pictures since we moved to California and captured many precious moments, and many hard ones too. Thank you so much Cori....I can't wait for you to take pictures of our sweet baby boy....again;)

And of course, this one is from Coop getting into Cori's boys' dress up box! He was too cute not to snap a pic of;)

Reminders of the Season

A few days before Tyler passed away, I looked out my kitchen window to see the day lilies blooming in the front walkway. I thought to myself how glad I was that they were blooming so that when my mom and stepdad came to visit a couple weeks later, they would be pretty. Little did I know that Tyler would pass away before they could see him again. This year, as I looked outside, I was reminded how the day lilies come up at this same time. End of June. Funny how God knew that, as He does every detail. He knew that I would be sweetly reminded of his faithfulness through the simplicity of a flower bloom. I get to be reminded of my Tyler each year on June 24th as I'm greeted by these flowers.

Not only is it the season when Tyler passed away, it's the season of my birthday. Tyler passed away four days after my birthday last year, so from now on, my birthday is marked by the reminder that four days later we gave our sweet boy back to the Lord. This year, for my birthday we were pretty low key. Our sweet friends Rick and Judy kept Cooper overnight, Jerrod and I grabbed a quick dinner, visited some friends and went to bed early. It was quite hard not having Coop here at the house, a very odd feeling, but I think he had a pretty big time with "JuJu and Uncle Rick!"

For my gift from Cooper, Jerrod asked him what he loved about Mommy.....He gave several reasons, but then landed on, "She's beautiful..." Jerrod took him to Target to pick out my gift and he was so adamant about making me "beautiful." He chose a pink bracelet (animal print:), pink earrings, and of course a pink shirt. Notice a theme?? The sack he gave it to me in was pink, too, with pink tissue paper. Boy was he proud!!! What a sweetie! Just thought I'd share a couple pictures of the outfit:) I did talk to him about needing to take the earrings and bracelet back because they "didn't fit:)" He was totally content with that....

On the 24th, we celebrated Tyler's Glory Day. Our precious friends loaned us their home to use so people could stop by and swim and hang out. We had lots of people come by and give hugs and cards and flowers and so many friends helped make this day possible from the house, to the signs, to cleaning up. Thank you all for helping us remember and honor our sweet Tyler. Here are a few pics from the day...

Only a couple more prego pictures to post:) Here I am at 34 weeks....a little passed my 8 month shot, but oh well. I'll be sure to take another pic at 9 months and then one right before D-Day! This was from the day of my shower where I felt very loved by so many people. It was such a sweet time, and very emotional. Lots of details went into making it special and it was a lot of fun to have my mom here for it. I will post some pics later hopefully;)

Thank you all for continuing on this journey with us. Many changes ahead, so many great things, and so many unknowns. I can't even believe that Sawyer will be here in 4 weeks or less, it just seems surreal. I can't believe Tyler is already going to be a big brother. He would almost be 18 months, so not too hard to imagine having all three of my boys. I will have to wait to have them all again, but praising the Lord for this miracle within.

So grateful for what GOD's doing.....